No Control: Watching Your Breath As It Is During Asana

by Jill Satterfield

The Gust of Wind by Pierre-Auguste Renoir

As most yogis know, the breath is a most nuanced and dimensional reflection of our minds. Our breath can be an intimate guide to our psyches, and observing its movements and patterns is a revealing and direct path to understanding our most subtle behavior and disposition. Whether we watch our breath or manipulate it can mean the difference between insights or cover up—and only by practicing both can we surely know for ourselves.

Controlling and Manipulating vs. Letting Go and Observing 

There are many reasons to utilize breath techniques when practicing asana: it deepens a shallow breath, calms the nervous system and mind, and may keep an otherwise wandering mind in check and in the body. But just like the Buddhist parable of a man who constructs a raft to cross over a river and then continues to carry the raft overhead on dry land, it’s as important to be able to utilize a technique as much as it is to be able to let it go. 

Easier said than done. Once we are comfortable utilizing a technique, it becomes a friend and a companion on our path towards being more peaceful, calm, steady, kind. A technique trains the mind to stay on something, such as in meditation, when we watch the natural rhythm of breath to train or tame the wandering mind. So asking this familiar friend not to accompany us can be quite difficult because it has become a habit—skillful, but a habit nonetheless—and letting it go can be wrought with emotions of all kinds. A crutch is a crutch and attachment is attachment, and anything that becomes unconsciously habitual is not liberating; it can act as a shield against seeing what is naturally, without any kind of manipulation or conscious control. We can’t see things as they are if we are constantly fiddling, manipulating, fixing or changing them. As we practice to become more and more free of unconscious patterns, it is an important step in spiritual maturation to examine how we practice, and why. For any technique can keep us contentedly on the surface by enabling us to steer the ship of the mind, rather than observing its path when let loose in the uncharted waters of the unconscious. 

It can radically change a yoga asana practice to be a passive observer of your breath, rather than in any kind of control. In my experience, asking students to let go of a beloved breath technique can illicit everything from anger to sadness to confusion. Many yoga teachers are rather rigid in their instructions of breathing (breath goes from bottom to top, or top to bottom, or is only in this style, or as heavy handed as counting the beats of one inhale, and one exhale). Suggesting that someone just observe breath can be a radical departure to being constantly instructed, but how revealing it can be! 

Notice for instance where your breath goes when you are experiencing an uncomfortable stretch somewhere in a pose. If you have tight hamstrings, this can be obvious. Usually—unless we are trained to be aware of this reaction—the breath will move as far away from a place of discomfort as possible. If your hamstrings are tight, your breath might be high up in your chest. Genetically, we are inclined to quickly remove ourselves from danger, and this is a very skillful habit to have. But, as in many types of patterned behavior that have become unconscious and unquestioned, this reaction is too easily triggered, often to no real benefit. The urge to run from danger or discomfort can turn into a habit of fleeing anything even remotely unpleasant. Our minds are so habitually prone to check out, to find a distraction, or search for something/anything to take away the pain or discomfort that we’ve taken the initially life-prolonging habit a bit too far, over-stressing our system and depleting our life force. 

In the body then, there can be vast areas that we no longer inhabit because of an injury (discomfort), a trauma (discomfort), or tightness (discomfort), and we don’t even recognize that these parts have become off limits energetically, mentally and physically. We avoid these places with both breath and mind, and when practicing a posture we subsequently explore the breath in certain areas while avoiding others. But as breath and mind ride together we have the opportunity to recognize the areas of the body we aren’t consciously connecting to. 

Direct Experience Exercise

Practice three different postures that you like and are relatively easy for you. Hold each pose for five to ten breaths. While in each posture pay close attention to your breath—where it is full and easy, where it isn’t. After each posture, reflect and note (either mentally or write it down) before moving on to the next pose. Eventually you may notice a pattern.

If noticing the areas into which your breath doesn’t flow is difficult, try breathing into the nooks and crannies of each posture, for instance, the inside rim of each hip, behind your heart, the right side of your ribs, your kidney area, or the bottom of your pelvic bowl. Be as inquisitive and investigative as possible.

Once you’ve noticed where you don’t breathe so easily, practice poses that open that area of your body, and gently, kindly begin breathing into those areas. Take your time and treat yourself as you would your best friend. If anything emotionally painful comes up, you could try practicing some gentle restorative poses or any other form of conscious relaxation to quiet your nervous system. And if you feel like you’d benefit from talking with someone about it, consider talking with a family member, a friend, or, if you have one, your spiritual teacher or therapist. The tissues of the body hold thoughts and emotions, and we all need support from time to time.

Jill Satterfield is the founder of Vajra Yoga + Meditation, a synthesis of yoga and Buddhism that combines meditation, yoga and contemplative practices. Named “one of the 4 leading yoga and Buddhist teachers in the country” by Shambhala Sun Magazine, Jill has instigated mindful and creative educational programs for over 28 years.

She is also the founder and Director of the School for Compassionate Action: Meditation, Yoga and Educational Support for Communities in Need, a not-for-profit that trains teachers, psychologists and health care providers to integrate mind and body practices into their professions. SCA also provides classes to people in chronic pain, with illness, those suffering from PTSD, and at-risk youth. Jill teaches workshops internationally, is a faculty member of Spirit Rock Meditation Center’s Mindfulness for Yoga Training  and the Somatic Training in Marin, California, and is a guest teacher for many other training programs. To find out more about Jill, visit her website vajrayoga.com.

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